Hands

If you want to know how much stress I'm dealing with at any given time, don't ask me...I'll lie. Look at my hands. There is a direct correlation between my stress level and my fingertips!
When I was a kid, I used to bite my fingernails. It took me YEARS to break that terrible habit. But, I replaced it with another. Now, I pick at my cuticles...and when things are so bad that that's not quite enough...it starts to look REALLY bad. Right now I look like I stuck my fingertips in a meat grinder! I can't even grip anything tightly without causing pain. I wish I didn't have such an ugly reminder of the stress in my life.
The thing is, things aren't even that bad right now. I mean, it's summer break, I'm home with my kids, things aren't half bad! But, I can't shake this feeling that I'm still not quite good enough. I've been praying like a mad woman lately, I'm hoping that the direction I'm being led will help me stop worrying so much about what other people think. In my brain, I KNOW that it doesn't matter. People could ACTUALLY dislike me for one reason or another and I KNOW that it doesn't truly matter. I KNOW that the only opinion that matters is God's. I also know, that since He created me...I sort of have an 'in' with Him...but in my heart, I keep hearing that negativity creep back in. It's driving me nuts!
So...for the next two weeks, before heading back to work, my goal is to LEAVE MY HANDS ALONE, enjoy my kids and my midweek fun, and let go of the stress. Let's see how that goes...I'm not so great at letting go of stress and that's the ONLY thing I need to do in order to accomplish the rest of it!

Here's to pretty hands and a fresh start!